Author Archives: olga

Domestic Violence

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We have entered the last month of 2010, and with that, one would assume that the world, globally, would be moving ahead. But after reading this chapter I am amazed at how little domestic violence has changed. The United States media puts a stigma on domestic violence and laws forbid it, but it still happens in many homes. This was not very surprising to me. I suspect that domestic violence is fueled by many men’s deep control issues (however it is not limited to men). Violence in India shocked me however. The fact that domestic violence is only ever spoken of if it is very violent, or how both men and women find it acceptable if the wife is “misbehaving.” Misbehaving by who’s standards? The husband’s? And the husband is not discouraged from beating her. He is given several “justifiable” reasons to blame the abuse on. The only reason I can find that helps me understand why women may tolerate and accept the abuse, is because they are given no other alternative. Women can try to live on their own but because it is extremely hard to get a good paying job (no where near a man’s wage) and the stigma assigned to leaving her husband women stay. They are also taught from the beginning that men are more valuable and that women just “drain” their family economically. Without having options, role models, or enlightenment to an entirely different life  style, they have no other choice but to accept being married and abused.

In Japan, women do have the option to leave their husbands and be financially secure, but there are no strict laws to protect them from their husbands. In Vietnam women suffer from “invisible violence” -going home after work and working their second shift as mother and housewife- and “visible violence.” And in Uganda, domestic abuse is seen as “part of the culture.” We are transitioning into the year 2011 and yet, the world is still accepting the abuse and oppression of women and children. Although much of this violence takes place in rural areas it takes place among many college graduates living in Urban areas as well. Something must be done.

-Olga

Thinness

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What I found very interesting was the extent that sexual abuse and eating disorders can be linked together. The book says that 61% of the women that Becky W. Thompson interviewed had survived sexual abuse. From surviving this trauma many women like Antonia turns to food as a way to “cope.” It is a way for them to focus on something else besides the horror of what has happened to them. In other women’s cases such as Ruthie, they turn to bulimia so that then can change their body because they blame their bodies for what has happened. The idea of “maybe if I’m skinny then I’ll be good enough and not be hurt any more” really comes into play here.
To me, because for so many women the abuse and eating disorder start so young, the only way they know how to deal with it is by altering their bodies or by using something to “numb” the pain. If you look at it this way then it seems very simple, something bad is happening so I have change to protect myself. Because things are happening younger and younger, I think we need to start teaching children at younger ages what to do and ensure that they have someone safe to talk to. We also must make sure that other ethnic groups (not white women) are looked at equally because the fact that many are overlooked until the problem is very bad is simply not acceptable. BY OLGA